Friday, November 20, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
It's happened before. It happened today. It will happen again.
Okay. My text to my dear hubby tonight was "When will you be here because I just quit my job." I'm guessing there was a sense of urgency on his part. Not because without my job we can't pay the bills--I don't get a paycheck. The urgency comes from the fact that my job is to take care of these three small people God has entrusted us with and to try to keep our lives and household functioning. These very large tasks would be difficult to do if you no longer have someone in charge.
I'm sorry for all of the times I took my mom for granted and for all of the times I was probably disrespectful and unappreciative. This is truly the most difficult job I have ever had! I love them. That is what makes it even worse when I feel that they don't treat me well. I ask myself what I have done wrong. I'm sure it is just because I am with them almost all of the time and I am the one who has to nag all of the time to keep our lives running. I'm not the fun, cool mom they wish they had, I'm sure. I may have to turn in my keys, stop using the stove, vacuum, washing machine....and then see if they have a new-found appreciation for what "My mom who doesn't do anything" really does. Yes, my oldest actually went through the list of parents of her friends who wanted to do a school service project together. They needed a chaperone. She finally got to me and declared that I was the only one who didn't have anything to do so I would have to do it.
And today, trying to help the middle one with a school science project he is doing with a friend...he would never treat anyone else the way he treated me. (Certainly not his friend's mom who he declared 2 years ago was the nicest mom in the world!) And by the way, his friend would never have spoken to that perfect mom the way my darling son spoke to me. Of the three, he is usually such a hard worker and usually so concientious with me. He's my boy. He usually is the first to thank me for random little things I do. He seems to notice more often the little things I do. But occasionally, like today, he chose to be disrespectful when I was taking my afternoon to work on a science project with him (since I have nothing better to do). Like raking all of the leaves that are staring at me through the back door, finishing the laundry, washing bedding, fixing dinner, getting the kids to piano, cleaning out the closet that is driving me crazy, sorting through the stacks of papers they bring home, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, grocery shopping...I'm so glad that I live such a life of leisure!
The little one--already was grounded for her sass yesterday. She was scolding me for being silly and nice after I told her she didn't have time to watch a movie before school. So I demonstrated what mean, grouchy mommy could be like. I asked her which mommy she liked better--her answer? Mrs. O. (my friend!)
So, today I quit. Unfortunately when the alarm goes off in the morning, someone has to do the job. So again, I will go back to work and do the job. I will love them. I never stop. I just hope at some point we work it out better than we have over the last week. For now, I will sleep. I'm gonna need it! It's like hitting the refresh button--sometimes it works better than others. I hope tonight my refresh button works and I hope that my kids all find theirs. I sensed remorse when I got home from my Girl Scout leader meeting--we will see if they can find it in themselves, at least for tomorrow, to give me a break!
I'm sorry for all of the times I took my mom for granted and for all of the times I was probably disrespectful and unappreciative. This is truly the most difficult job I have ever had! I love them. That is what makes it even worse when I feel that they don't treat me well. I ask myself what I have done wrong. I'm sure it is just because I am with them almost all of the time and I am the one who has to nag all of the time to keep our lives running. I'm not the fun, cool mom they wish they had, I'm sure. I may have to turn in my keys, stop using the stove, vacuum, washing machine....and then see if they have a new-found appreciation for what "My mom who doesn't do anything" really does. Yes, my oldest actually went through the list of parents of her friends who wanted to do a school service project together. They needed a chaperone. She finally got to me and declared that I was the only one who didn't have anything to do so I would have to do it.
And today, trying to help the middle one with a school science project he is doing with a friend...he would never treat anyone else the way he treated me. (Certainly not his friend's mom who he declared 2 years ago was the nicest mom in the world!) And by the way, his friend would never have spoken to that perfect mom the way my darling son spoke to me. Of the three, he is usually such a hard worker and usually so concientious with me. He's my boy. He usually is the first to thank me for random little things I do. He seems to notice more often the little things I do. But occasionally, like today, he chose to be disrespectful when I was taking my afternoon to work on a science project with him (since I have nothing better to do). Like raking all of the leaves that are staring at me through the back door, finishing the laundry, washing bedding, fixing dinner, getting the kids to piano, cleaning out the closet that is driving me crazy, sorting through the stacks of papers they bring home, cleaning, cleaning, cleaning, grocery shopping...I'm so glad that I live such a life of leisure!
The little one--already was grounded for her sass yesterday. She was scolding me for being silly and nice after I told her she didn't have time to watch a movie before school. So I demonstrated what mean, grouchy mommy could be like. I asked her which mommy she liked better--her answer? Mrs. O. (my friend!)
So, today I quit. Unfortunately when the alarm goes off in the morning, someone has to do the job. So again, I will go back to work and do the job. I will love them. I never stop. I just hope at some point we work it out better than we have over the last week. For now, I will sleep. I'm gonna need it! It's like hitting the refresh button--sometimes it works better than others. I hope tonight my refresh button works and I hope that my kids all find theirs. I sensed remorse when I got home from my Girl Scout leader meeting--we will see if they can find it in themselves, at least for tomorrow, to give me a break!
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